Re- fighting the Battle of Assaye

Napoleonic dust up in western India in need of time travelling armchair general…

Step right up guvner. Come and see the ultimate turn of the (19th) century smackdown. Ten thousand redcoat whipping boyz versus fifty thousand heroes of the Maratha Empire. All star colonial attackers (boo- hiss) versus bronzed native defenders (hurrah!). Some no name, toffee nosed snob, Arthur la-di-dah Wellesley, leading the British East India Company, versus the renowned, up-from-the-ranks Colonel with a heart-of-gold, Anthony Pohlmann, generously assisting the Maratha Empire!

Will John Bull cop another bloody nose? Will highly trained troops, lead by an overzealous glory-hog, beat a horde equipped with modern weaponry, defending their own turf? Witness bullshit flanking manoeuvres over undiscovered river crossings, entire corps playing possum, ridiculous mismatched numbers, misunderstood orders, heroic last stands, last minute cavalry charges, and sacrifice of the highest order.

Watch the Armchair Corporal re-write history and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory… just click that ole mouse here 20/20 Hindsight: Re-fighting the Battle of Assaye, or go to the Alt History tab at the top o the page.

Refighting Famous Battles – alt history

How to win the battles of Waterloo, Gettysburg and Hastings

Bite sized rematches: Omniscient Armchair Corporal out-generals the pros.

Any amateur history buff worth their salt has imagined re-fighting a battle and rewriting history. It just so happens that I eat famous battles for breakfast, so I’ve described my legendary skillz in the Alt History section. Napoleon, General Lee and some ‘Medieval Dickheads’ could learn a thing or two from me as I blitz Waterloo, march all over Gettysburg and rewrite 1066 in the Anglo-Saxon chronicle.

So take a step back in time and suspend all notions of the fog of war. In my world, commanders always do what they are told and have excellent cross country navigational skills. My physically exhausted troops can always keep marching, especially on the huge flank manoeuvres that are all the rage with Armchair Generals. Coordinating multiple attacks without radios or even semaphore just happens as my mind wills it.

If I wasn’t allergic to getting up early I would probably join the armed forces and get that world peace thing happening. In the meantime you should check out how to turn the tables in some classic engagements at the 20/20 Hindsight Refight page.